Wise Words

"...say only what helps, each word a gift." Ephesians 4:29b

Rodeo Season has passed. Brave men ride bucking broncos that charge out of the gate. The experienced hang on for dear life but the novice is tossed off very quickly. And then it's over.

We don't want this to be the fate of our relationships with Muslims, do we? I want to cultivate them long term. But how does one avoid a relationship to be derailed?

A no brainer is not to say something that insults their religion or prophet. There may come a time when it's appropriate to bring up shortcomings in Islam to a friend who is moving towards Christ but certainly not at the beginning of a budding friendship. The old adage "It's easier to attract bees with honey than vinegar" applies here.

Because honor is sooo important in the East, humor needs to be used sparingly. Jokes often cast a bad light on something or someone. And anything like 'one up-man-ship' can easily be misunderstood. To tease by telling an 'untruth' and then turn around and say 'just kidding' is a no-no. It can cause distrust or the listener feeling stupid that he fell for it.

Taboo subjects at the Centre where I volunteer include religion, politics, and sexual orientation. Recently during the first summer conversation class I had each student write something special about themselves, put it into a bag, and then when all the papers were collected they drew one paper. The task was to find the person who wrote the statement. I discovered later that one student from Africa wrote "I love Jesus." Can't you picture the student who pulled his paper going around asking "Do you love Jesus?"

One lesson I've learned is to be careful about talking about a Muslim friend with another Muslim. You'll get further if there is trust that conversations won't be shared with other Muslims. I became inactive on Facebook because of this. I had ESL contacts from a closed Muslim country who wanted to befriend me on Facebook. I didn't want to risk losing an opportunity with individuals who would see who all my friends are.

Using a proverb in their language properly can have the opposite effect. I planned to buy something from a Pakistani Muslim from his kiosk in a mall. When he refused to take my money I reminded him of an Urdu proverb "the heart is not at rest when one receives something for free". So, I flatly refused to take the item I had asked for. Finally, he begrudgingly took some money. He was trying to honor me.

I watched a seasoned missionary to Somalis relate to them by telling stories. They were sitting on the edge of their chairs spellbound. I am learning to cultivate story telling. Highly desirable are stories that teach something. For example, one story that works is "the day I cheated in school" and the punishment I received. It really gets my friends' attention and is a good opportunity to talk about sin--my sin.

Get them curious--what do you do? If we play it safe, we may never have an opportunity to be viewed as a spiritual person who will pray or study the Bible.

Lord, help me to use wise and inviting words when I'm with my Muslim friend. Amen.

Language of Love

"How is it we hear, each of us, in our own native language? Parthians, Medes, Elamites: those who live in Mesopotamia, in Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the part of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabs - we hear them speaking in our own languages the magnificent acts of God." Acts 2:8-11. My grandmother was born in the late 1800's. She spoke German. She seldom travelled beyond a 50 mile radius of her home. This was my dear grandmother's world. Just before embarking for Pakistan we showed her some pictures of our adopted land. She asked, "Do they speak German there?" We replied, "No, they speak Urdu." Fuoad Masri from the Crescent Project (click) explains a similar Islamic dilemma.  "Indeed, We have sent it down as an Arabic Qur'an that you might understand." - Quran 12:2 "Islam claims that the Arabic language is the holy language since it is the language of God. The Quran was revealed in Arabic, then God must speak in Arabic and favors the Arab culture and people... This creates a dilemma: If God created all humans, why will he only speak one language? If the Quran was sent in Arabic, then the message is to those who speak that language, and not anyone else? If the message is in Arabic, then why impose it on other people groups such as the Greeks, Turks, Persians and Africans? How can a message in a language that they do not understand be forced on them?... In Acts chapter 2, the Day of Pentecost signifies that God loves all people and communicates in all languages. All languages are Holy when recited in the power of Christ and for his glory. I am so compelled by the book of Acts to learn to love all people, languages and cultures." Fuoad adds: "Please join us in praying...for Muslims everywhere to learn the true language of heaven, the language of love from Jesus the Messiah." Shortly after I read the above, we went to a conference where the speaker emphasized this exact theme. He said, "In the Bible God asks us only to love the church, our neighbor, and our enemy!" How true. And who is left? Pretty big assignment. But how is this fleshed out? In general terms it means we care for Muslims as human beings. They go through the same emotions and life events Christians do. They have happy moments and sad moments. And we can be there for both of them. Often this leads to natural openings to celebrate, pray for our Muslim friend or even to read appropriate verses. Henry Nouwen speaks of 'being living reminders'. When there is an opportunity we share nuggets of truth with our Muslim friends. But we also send text messages while we travel if this falls on a holiday. We pray for our friends and often tell them we've done so. This is definitely an expression of love. Sometimes we meet our friends in the mall--'living reminder'. Lord give us the grace and readiness to show and speak your 'language of love'--and to show this in many ways that you direct us to...words, hugs, messages, gifts. Amen.